It’s always about scoring points, isn’t it? You know what I mean? Have a disagreement. Get the other guy by putting them down. Build yourself up, that does. Nope.
What it does is increase the gap in your mind in a way that makes you feel ‘more’ right and the other guy ‘more’ wrong. In case you’ve not twigged yet, I just said “increase the gap.” So, you increase the distance between you emotionally in a way that affects you both. And not in a good way.
Have you ever tried making up with someone after a disagreement which was dominated by mutual point scoring? Hard, isn’t it. The gap can get so wide that reconciliation is nigh impossible, even though the original disagreement may have been trivial.
There’s also an issue of escalating misfortunes, as two people hell bent on one-upmanship begin to behave like comedy characters, each trying so hard to outdo the other, they lose sight of just how much they each are suffering as a result. Behaviour that began in the school restroom years earlier rears its ugly head in adulthood, as common sense proves no match for the injured ego.
Part of the problem with our world is that the folks who make most of the big decisions haven’t left the playground any more than you or I. They are as human as the rest of us and subject to the same failings. We say they should be above it, expect it of them, but know full well that they can’t meet expectations we can’t meet for ourselves. We then console ourselves that it’s all their fault, we are victims and they should be unelected, in prison, or otherwise kicked into touch.
The reason we are where we are in this world today isn’t because of the few at the top who ‘control everything’. It’s because the rest of us through our inaction choose to keep them there. It’s because they aren’t better than we are, but we give them a status they don’t deserve. And it’s because we don’t know who or what we would replace them with if we did something about it.
But they aren’t any better than we are, and we need to stop expecting them to be. All we are doing is setting them, and ourselves, up for failure. Responsibility doesn’t mean deciding who is to blame, so long as it’s not us. Responsibility isn’t about blame at all. It’s about acceptance, learning and action that leads to improvement and growth for all.
For possibly thousands of years, the answer has been right under our noses. We know the answer, we always have. We just think it’s too hard, so we wait till someone else does it. But no-one does. And so, the elites continue to reign unabated and we continue to complain about them but do nothing.
If we want them to be better, then we must be better. No more blame game. It’s time for responsibility to take over on an individual level. If each of us make the effort to only work on ourselves, that takes care of all of us. This is what we’ve known all along, and this is what is so hard. Don’t wait for someone else to take the lead for you. And no excuses like, if no-one else does, why should I? That’s the attitude that’s prevailed for the past two thousand years. It’s got a little old.
We need to all come out of the playground and grow the hell up. Each of us must take full responsibility for our lives, our conduct and how we manage our disagreements. When we do, by the very nature of it, those in power will be doing likewise.
They are after all, only a reflection of ourselves. Imagine a world where enough of us has made that effort, where our collective adolescence has been left behind to make way for a better future for us all.